Should we trust the U.S. Federal Reserve to act in Canada's best interests?

As I started to tell you, I pulled Malling's manuscript, his W5 New Zealand manuscript, off my computer. That's the Canadian material I was referring to. It really adds a gritty flavour to what went on. There's been some criticism of the program but it's okay for our purposes.

- Abigail Black, Director of International Studies, Federal Reserve System, Washington, DC.

Emphasis mine.

2001: A Deficit Odyssey

Richard Rohmer's Death by Deficit is a work of speculative fiction that takes place in a near-future Canada where a newly-elected government must contend with a devastating financial crisis that threatens to bankrupt the country.  At the same time, the world is engulfed in a pandemic where a virus causing amnesia is running rampant.  It's a race against time to restore the economy so they can have the resources to combat the virus - before they forget everything:

"...sooner or later the world markets were going to...how do you North Americans put it?" (pg. 144)

"..the amount the Russians have received are ...how do you say it in America (?)" (pg. 149)

"Your deficit target is...what is it again?" (pg. 149)

"That's how you deal with a budget, isn't it?" (pg. 151)

"Also his Deputy Minister," added Smart.
"Who's that?"
"Paul Simpson"
 "Yeah"  (pg. 4)

"And if you can't get her, then get the Deputy Governor, whoever it is"  (pg. 5)

"The premiers." The PM hadn't considered them. "Of course"  (pg. 21)

"You're right, Peter.  I'd forgotten you're a lawyer" (pg. 73)

"I have to figure out what to tell that fellow - what's his name, Tromso?" (pg. 73)

"Well, wouldn't it be fair to have the Minister of Agriculture here - what's his  name?"  (pg. 78)

"If you can't reach anyone there, try the President's Chief of Staff ...what's his name?" (pg. 85)

"That'll give me time to work it into my budget speech if I think...what's his name again?" (pg .161)

"I've already told them it will be there by two-thirty"
"That's right, I did ask you to do that earlier, didn't I? Must be losing it" (pg. 159)

White wine is the new vodka

Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, Sauvignon Blanc, Viognier, Riesling? It matters not.

Death By Deficit: The Accounting

Q. What the Hell?

“How the hell are we going to deal with this?” p.4

“And find out where the hell the Governor of the Bank of Canada is.” p. 21

“Holy Christ, what’s going on?” p. 64

“For Christ’s sake, Richard, what is it?” p. 162

Q. Tell Me Something I Already Know

“As I told you, I’m having dinner with the Governor General.” p.4

“Quebec went public with that information last Friday, as you all know.”  p.10

“As I said, it’s a catastrophe.” p.12

“As you well know, a government may create a deficit in its annual operations – that is, a short-fall, or the amount by which its expenditures exceed its revenue – so the government must be able to borrow on the domestic and international markets an amount at least equal to the deficit in that year.”  p.12 *

“Victor, as you heard, we’ve got a crisis on our hands.” p. 26

“As I told you at dinner, I have a formal visit scheduled this week for the Northwest Territories with Nellie.” p. 59

“As I told you, your budget is the key.” p. 94

“As I told you, it’s a decision I can’t take by myself.” p. 142

“And as Weinstock has already told you, we’re working on a slash-and-burn budget.” p. 149

“As I told you, and as the world now knows, my target is a zero deficit in eighteen months.”  p. 177

“And like I told you, I’ll be goddamned if I know how you’re gonna do it.” p. 177

Q: What did the Japanese do again?

“… the Japanese pulled their Yen plug.” p. 26

“… the Japanese have pulled the rug.” p. 40

“… the Japanese… pull the rug?” p. 51

“You all know what the Japanese have done.” p. 64

“The Japanese pulled the rug today, not us!” p. 87

*The longest “as you know” in the Rohmer canon?

You know you've elected the wrong guys when…

…the first person to mention the IMF and World Bank is the Chair of the Federal Reserve of the United States – this in hour three of a meeting involving the Prime Minister, the Minister of Finance, the Deputy Minister of Finance, the President of the Treasury Board, the Governor of the Bank of Canada and the Deputy Governor of the Bank of Canada.

Alan Greenspan Al Weinstock assumes no one from the Reform PC government hasn't been in touch with either organization (they haven't), and that they don't have their phone numbers (they don't).

Idiots.

Q: Why is it that the Canadian Prime Minister never calls the Japanese Prime Minister?

a) Because he's an idiot.
b) Because he wants to use the crisis to kill the CBC.
c) Because he thinks the Emperor of Japan heads the government.
d) Because he doesn't have the phone number.
e) All of the above.

A: e

One Thing Leads to Another

I was asking myself why I enjoyed Death by Deficit so much more than the Rohmers we were reading this time last year and I think it's pretty simple:  This time last year I still expected something to happen.  I brought my own suspense.  I read thinking: There must be more happening off-screen. He must be telling me this because it's going to come back later. This guy's boss must have some ulterior motive.  The man behind the man has yet to be revealed, but when he is, the clues will have been there all along.  Nope.

If we'd read Death by Deficit last March, I would have expected the Governor General to double-cross the Prime Minister.  Or come through for him, when the chips were down. Or that the fact that they were having an affair would have meant something, anything, down the line.

Or that we would find out the Japanese had some second stage to their plan to screw Canada.  (And themselves, by the way.)  Nah.  They just woke up -- by total coincidence -- the morning the Conservatives were voted in and decided Canada was a write-off. 

It's like if someone told you The Big Chill was a murder mystery, and you watched the whole thing waiting to find out who killed the guy they were burying.

Rohmer has only one technique for creating suspense.  A character asks another character what he's going to do, and the other character says, "I'll tell you later."

Question: Has anybody ever double-crossed anybody else in a Richard Rohmer novel?  Has anyone ever had anything up his sleeve?  There's the pilot who doesn't know he's dropping a nuke in Triad, and the KGB spy at York University in Red Arctic.  But has he ever written a book where some innocuous clue was slipped-in early and revealed to mean something later on? 

For the cover: the PM and the Governor General.  I'm just spit ballin' here, fellas.

This guy would look good on the cover.

AND YOU WILL KNOW US BY A TRAIL OF OUR HAIR

Greco rose, straightened his tie, ran a hand over his hair.  This would be his first appearance in the House, and he was nervous. – Death by Deficit

Greco has every reason to be concerned about his hair.  Heraclitus said character is destiny, and in Death by Deficit, character is hair.  (Haha! More like Hair-aclitus!*) This is the short-handiest Rohmer of them all, when it comes to people – where they’ve been, what they want, how they’re different in even the smallest way from the other people in the room. It’s barely a novel, even for Rohmer, and characters have two jobs: tell each other about austerity and have hair.  (Three. Sometimes they laugh at each other’s great jokes.)

Can You Match These Death by Deficit Characters and Their Hair?

Peter Smart

Mario Greco

Simon Camp

Aubrey Farnsworth

Leif Tromso

Federal Reserve Chair Al Weinstock

The PM

RCMP staff sergeant

The Leader of His Majesty’s Loyal Opposition

“full head of jet-black hair”

“a sparse scattering of wispy, combed-straight-back hair”

“thinning brown hair”

“greying, thinning hair”

“wavy salt-and-pepper hair”

“a full head of wavy grey hair”

“now grey, naturally curly, full head of hair… slight thinning at the part”

“grey hair… combed straight back”

“grey-haired, still handsome”

“bald”

And Now the Ladies

Abbi Black

Governor General Pearl McConachie

“wavy blond hair”

“wavy ebony hair”

Bonus

Why nothing about Joe Nameth’s “hair”?

*The classics minor pays off again!

Death by Deficit: A Few Early Observations

…after having spent three minutes on the first chapter (and six on the second).

First line: "The swearing-in ceremony had taken place on Saturday at Rideau Hall, the Governor General's residence."

I'm not sure that a government has ever been sworn in on a Saturday. The last was on a Monday, as was the one before that, the one before that, the one before that and the one before that. Before that? I can't be bothered.*

Could it be that the Reform PC PM had promised to do things differently? Were I an advisor, I'd have suggested a weekday so as to get maximum media exposure.

Just as well that it was Saturday because by early Monday morning the mess left behind by the unnamed previous government (read: Liberals) threatens to shut down the TTC. How are people supposed to get home?

First use of the word "bastard": page 4

First woman to be referred to as a "bitch": Jane Smith (page 5)

Pages in which a meeting is suggested and/or planned: 4, 5

Pages in which a meeting takes place: 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18

Blank pages: 3 (of 18)

Pages with fewer than five words: 5 (of 18)

Pages featuring charts: 3 (of 18)

Pages featuring diagrams of the Hercules C-130: 0 (of 18)

Age of the "ancient, elaborately carved piece dominat[ing] the conference room located next to the Prime Minister's office": 135 years

Canada's debt in 1993: $445 billion

Canada's debt in 1993 (in Death by Deficit: A 2001 Novel): $485 billion

Canada's debt in 2001: $590 billion

Canada's debt in 2001 (in Death by Deficit: A 2001 Novel): $1 trillion

Flight paths of rockets (in Death by Deficit: A 2001 Novel):

* In Separation Two, the government brings down a budget on Canada Day.