Saturday, 19 July 2014


Q. When writing a bestseller, it’s important not to use the same words over and over.  Mix things up! In describing the the Battle of Normandy, how many different ways can you describe the army that the Germans want to drive, throw, push, shove and hurl back into the sea?

A. Before you repeat one? 11.

“I want to know the current state of affairs and how you plan to throw the British and Americans back into the sea.” p. 4

“I’m sure you can explain why the Anglo-American forces have not been thrown off the beachhead they landed on ten days ago. No doubt you can tell me what steps you plan to take to drive them back into the sea immediately.”  p. 4

“Yes if we can throw the Yankees and British back into the sea…” p. 5

“Well, Rommel,” Hitler barked, “come up here to the map and explain to me why you haven't driven Montgomery and the Americans back into the sea...” p. 6

“I repeat my question: How are you going to drive the Anglo-Americans back into the sea?” p. 9

“The weight of the enemy force is such that we shall not be able to push them back into the sea.” p. 10

“We’ll shove those goddamn British bastards right back into the goddamn ocean!” p. 28

There was still one opportunity left to throw the enemy back into the sea. p. 40

If Hausser could capture or destroy the Mulberry at Arromanches, then with Armee Gruppe Hausser on the left and First Panzer Korps under Dietrich on the right, they would hurl the British back into the sea. p. 40

“… keep in mind that if you drive the British and Americans back into the sea, we’ll never see them in Normandy again” p. 49

Q. Tell me something I already know.

“As you are well aware, mein Führer, a command post of this dimension and importance could be a choice objective for a hit-and-run paratroop attack.”  p. 6

“As you know, the Americans thrust right across the Contentin Peninsula two days ago.” p.31

“As you well know, Herr Feldmarschall, they’re under the direct instructions from the Führer to deny the enemy access as long as possible.” p.31


  1. Where the story could continue with Aquaman as the main character.

    Or Prince Namor, depending on whether or not Rohmer is a Marvel or DC kind of guy.


    "Gentlemen, as you know, I was sent to Earth as a child from a doomed planet, then raised by a childless Kansas couple..."

    Suddenly, the wall behind him exploded into rubble. A ghastly, misshapen figure emerged.

    "Me am Bizarro Banker! Me find most expensive, illegal, complicated things to buy! Buy them and destroy savings of depositors! Me bring friend, too!"

    "Good-bye, me am Bizarro Leader! Me lead by not telling anyone what my decisions be!"

    "That terrible leadership! Me follow you anywhere!"

    "No more time for talking. All complicated plans must be done in hurry! Let's go fly to see pipe line, meet people we could talk to on phone!"


    "So short, suckers!"

    And they were gone.

    Speaking of costumed superheroes, do you think Rohmer has said enough about Rommel's boots?

  3. Or Rommel's entire wardrobe and fashion sense. (not the least of which are those invaluable North Africa glasses (later goggles), without which the back road dust would have defeated him).

    Which is the larger number: the number of occurrences of the phrase "as you know" in these 11 books, or the number of times Jabos are mentioned in this book.

  4. If you were playing a Rommel & Patton drinking game where your cue was the word Jabos... all I'm saying is, all the bread in the world couldn't help you with that much vodka.

    You know who Rommel hates? Basically everyone, but especially fatties. Keep an eye out for his first thought when he hears the first or last name of anyone in Europe. Coward. Drunk. Incompetent. Short. Old. Stuck up. Teacher's pet.

    I know he's a really classy guy because he doesn't swear, but he's also Feldmarschall von Meangirl.